Column Writing Is Like Gas - It

Like Many Men, I Can Never Find Anything That I'm Looking For, Even When I'm Actually Looking At It. In A Fridge, I Think Milk Is Actually Invisible To The Male Eye. And So, It Turns Out, Are Dirty Great Holes In The Fence.

Being Smarter Than You Look Is Better Than Looking Smarter Than You Are.

If A Football Official Were To Call For A Slow-motion Replay Every Time Didier Drogba Fell Over, Each Match Would Last About Six Weeks.

If We Build Three Million New Houses By 2020, Where Will We Grow All The Stuff Needed To Feed The People Who Live In Them?

If You Go Through The Pearly Gates Backwards In A Fireball, That's A Cool Way To Die!