Check Out The Helmet Hair On Randy

I Love This Country For Several Reasons, Not The Least Of Which Is That I Know I'm Allowed To Hate It If I Want To.

A Third Myth Is That Men Think That Women Like Guys Who Are Dangerous. As A Result, Guys Will Often Smoke Cigarettes, Drink Too Much, And Ride A Motorcycle Without A Helmet. The Reality? Women Don't Like Guys Who Are Dangerous. Women Want Us To Think That Because Women Are Trying To Kill Us.

I'm One Of The More Pessimistic Cats On The Planet. I Make Van Gogh Look Like A Rodeo Clown.

To Me, Nature Always Appears More Unbalanced Than Gary Busey With A Clogged Eustachian Tube.

If You're A Man And You Have Big Tits, Don't Wear A Tight T-shirt, Okay? It Confuses The Children!