Cats Are A Waste Of Fur.

My Mother Is Such A Lousy Cook That Thanksgiving At Her House Is A Time Of Sorrow.

I'm Going To Start Water Skiing Someday...as Soon As I Can Separate It From Being Dragged By A Boat.

No Man Is Charming All Of The Time. Even Cary Grant Is On Record Saying He Wished He Could Be Cary Grant.

My Mother Was The Worst Cook Ever. In School, When We Traded Lunches, I Had To Throw In An Article Of Clothing.

Halloween Was Confusing. All My Life My Parents Said, "never Take Candy From Strangers." And Then They Dressed Me Up And Said, "go Beg For It." I Didn't Know What To Do. I'd Knock On People's Doors And Go, "trick Or Treat."