By The Time We Get To Church,

All These Years I've Sat In Airports And Kind Of Drawn People And Put Like Far Side Captions On Them.

You Might Be A Redneck If You Go Christmas Shopping For Your Mom, Sister, And Girlfriend, And You Only Need To Buy One Gift.

You Might Be A Redneck If You Can Tell Your Age By The Number Of Rings In The Bathtub.

If Your Neighbors Think You're A Detective Because A Cop Always Brings You Home, You Might Be A Redneck.

Changing A Diaper Is A Lot Like Getting A Present From Your Grandmother - You're Not Sure What You've Got But You're Pretty Sure You're Not Going To Like It.