By The Power Of Steven Wright's Beard!

It Was On This Day That The Bahamas Declared Independence. Before That They Were A British Colony. The British Empire Lost Canada And The Bahamas, To Name Just A Couple. Britain's Been Dumped More Times Than Taylor Swift. But Did They Go Writing Whining Songs About It? No.

If Scotland And America Go To War, I'm Afraid I've Already Sworn In.

The Problem With Suicide Is That It Seems So Flamboyant. It's Camp. You Have To Be A Bit Of A Drama Queen To Ever Seriously Consider It.

The 'star Wars' Movie Is Coming Out. Disney Has Kept The Details Of The Movie Under Wraps Because They're Not Sony.

I'm Careful With Money.