But I’m Living Proof You Don’t Have

But I Had Loved Him. A Part Of Me Still Did. Maybe More Than A Part Of Me, Because I'm A Complete Moron.

Unrequited Love Is All Right In Books And Things, But In Real Life, It Completely Sucks

I Have Nothing Against Sean Penn. I Don't Even Mind That He Ended Up Divorcing Madonna. I Mean, I Still Like Shia Labeouf Even Though He Chose To Star In Transformers, Which Turned Out To Be A Movie About Robots From Space. That Talk. Which Is Just As Bad As Choosing To Divorce Madonna, If You Ask Me

And Now Rocky Is Begging Me To Watch Dora The Explorer With Him. I Understand That Millions Of Kids Love Dora And Have Learned To Read Or Whatever From Her Show. But I Wouldn't Mind If Dora Fell Off A Cliff And Took Her Little Pals With Her

Look, Mr. Uh, Wulf I Appreciate Your Trying To Warn Me About This, Ireally Do. But There's No Such Thing As Vampires. They're Made-up. We Writers Made Them Up. I'm Sorry We Did Such A Good Job That We Made The Whole World Paranoid, But It's True. They're Fictional. Blame Bram Stoker. He Started It.