Better To Work And Fail Than To

I Attribute The Quarrelsome Nature Of The Middle Ages Young Men Entirely To The Want Of The Soothing Weed.

What Readers Ask Nowadays In A Book Is That It Should Improve, Instruct And Elevate. This Book Wouldn't Elevate A Cow. I Cannot Conscientiously Recommend It For Any Useful Purposes Whatever. All I Can Suggest Is That When You Get Tired Of Reading "the Best Hundred Books," You May Take This For Half An Hour. It Will Be A Change.

Love Is Too Pure A Light To Burn Long Among The Noisome Gases That We Breathe, But Before It Is Choked Out We May Use It As A Torch To Ignite The Cozy Fire Of Affection.

I Did Not Intend To Write A Funny Book, At First. I Did Not Know I Was A Humorist. I Have Never Been Sure About It. In The Middle Ages, I Should Probably Have Gone About Preaching And Got Myself Burnt Or Hanged.

I Also Think Pronunciation Of A Foreign Tongue Could Be Better Taught Than By Demanding From The Pupil Those Internal Acrobatic Feats That Are Generally Impossible And Always Useless. This Is The Sort Of Instruction One Receives : “press Your Tonsils Against The Underside Of Your Larynx. Then With The Convex Part Of The Septum Curved Upwards So As Almost — But Not Quite — To Touch The Uvula, Try With The Tip Of Your Tongue To Reach Your Thyroid. Take A Deep Breath, And Compress Your Glottis. Now Without Opening Your Lips Say "garoo".' And When You Have Done It They Are Not Satisfied.