Best Friend Isn't A Person, It's A

I Would Say That My Mother Is The Single Biggest Role Model In My Life, But That Term Doesn't Seem To Encompass Enough When I Use It About Her. She Was The Love Of My Life.

The Funniest Racism Is The Racism Between Minorities. It's Something You Don't See Dramatized, But Almost Every Minority I Know Who's My Age, They Have These Funny Stories About Their Parents Stereotyping Other Minorities.

I Don't Want To Hear About The Endless Struggles To Keep Sex Exciting, Or The Work It Takes To Plan A Date Night. I Want To Hear That You Guys Watch Every Episode Of The Bachelorette Together In Secret Shame, Or That One Got The Other Hooked On Breaking Bad And If Either Watches It Without The Other, They're Dead Meat. I Want To See You Guys High-five Each Other Like Teammates On A Recreational Softball Team You Both Do For Fun.

I Guess When You Go To Business School You Never Turn Business Off.

I Guess Nothing Puts A Damper On A One-night Stand As Much As Your Friend Pointing Out All The Opportunities Where You Might Have Been Killed.