Because You've Been On Dates Where Y'know,

It's A Lot Of Anti-gay, Racist Humor—which People Like In America—all Couched In 'i'm Telling It Like It Is.' He's In The Right Place At The Right Time For That Gee-shucks, Proud-to-be-a-redneck, I'm-just-a-straight-shooter-multimillionaire-in-cutoff-flannel-selling-ring-tones Act. That's Where We Are As A Nation Now. We're In A State Of Vague American Values And Anti-intellectual Pride.

Most People Who Have Kids Are, "hey, I Want Another Me. I Like Me. I'm Pretty Cool, And I've Got Really Great Ideas, And The Way I Think Is The Right Way To Think. Let's Put Another One Of Me Out There.

I Have A Few Business Ideas (that I'm Going To Advertise In High Times, Amongst Other Places), And One Of Them Is A Service In Which I Offer To Eat And Describe Pork To Kosher People.

I Read The New York Times, And If I'm In A Different City, I'll Skim That Paper.

I Went To A Bunch Of Marches In New York And Washington, And You Know I Believe In The Cause, But To March With Those People Takes A Lot Of Compromise On My End.