Because I Am An Inhuman Monster, I

I Don't Do My Job To Catch The Bad Guys. Why Would I Want To Do That? No, I Do My Job To Make Order Out Of Chaos.

It Took Me A Moment. I Blinked, And Suddenly It Swam Into Focus And I Had To Frown Very Hard To Keep Myself From Giggling Out Loud Like The Schoolgirl Deb Had Accused Me Of Being. Because He Had Arranged The Arms And Legs In Letters, And The Letters Spelled Out A Single Small Word: Boo. The Three Torsos Were Carefully Arranged Below The Boo In A Quarter-circle, Making A Cute Little Halloween Smile. What A Scamp.

Now I Know What It Is Like To Feel Like A Total Idiot.

I Looked Around The Store And What I Saw Was Not Very Encouraging. There Were Rows And Rows Of Violent Toys...aisle After Aisle Of Training Devices For Recreational Slaughter. No Wonder Our World Was Such A Mean And Violent Place...if We Teach Children That Killing Is Fun, Can We Really Be Surprised If Now And Then Someone Is Smart Enough To Learn?

I Rose To My Knees, Mouth Dry And Heart Pounding, And Paused To Finger A Rip In My Beautiful Dacron Bowling Shirt. I Pushed My Fingertip Through The Hole And Wiggled It At Myself. Hello, Dexter, Where Are You Going? Hello, Mr. Finger. I Don't Know, But I'm Almost There. I Hear My Friends Calling.