Be Outrageous, Ridicule The Fraidy-cats, Rejoice In

I Still Believe In Hope - Mostly Because There's No Such Place As Fingers Crossed, Arkansas.

With Politicians, Artful Evasion Is Always Preferable To The Outright Lie.

I'm Sorry That Government Involves Filling Out A Lot Of Forms. ... I'm Sorry Myself That We're Not Still On The Frontier, Where We Could All Tote Guns, Shoot Anything That Moved And Spit To Our Hearts' Content. But We Live In A Diverse And Crowded Country, And With Civilization Comes Regulation.

There Are Two Kinds Of Humor. One Kind That Makes Us Chuckle About Our Foibles And Our Shared Humanity -- Like What Garrison Keillor Does. The Other Kind Holds People Up To Public Contempt And Ridicule -- That's What I Do. Satire Is Traditionally The Weapon Of The Powerless Against The Powerful. I Only Aim At The Powerful. When Satire Is Aimed At The Powerless, It Is Not Only Cruel -- It's Vulgar.

In City Rooms And In The Bars Where Newspeople Drink, You Can Find Out What's Going On. You Can't Find It In The Papers.