Astronomers Have Discovered A Planet That Is

John Kerry Described His Republican Critics As 'the Most Crooked, Lying Group I've Ever Seen.' Now, That's Saying Something, Because Kerry's Both A Lawyer And A Politician.

When Clinton Said He Was Going To Create 8 Million New Jobs, I Didn't Think They Were All Going To Be Tax Collectors.

Homeland Security Chief Tom Ridge Raised Security Alert To A Code Red. Apparently Howard Dean Has Escaped. Did You See Dean's Crazed Speech The Other Night, Yelling? I See Why His Wife Won't Campaign With Him. In Fact, Dean Has A New Slogan: 'aaghhhh.'

Al Jazeera Aired A New Tape Of Osama Bin Laden. It Was The Usual Stuff, He Called Bush Evil, The Great Satan, Called Him A War Monger. Basically, The Same Thing You Heard At Last Night's Democratic Debate.

Did You Know That 10% Of All Americans Have Not Had Sex In 5 Years? I Didn't Know There Were So Many Republicans.