As You Get Older You Realize Your

I Can't Get Past The Fact That Food Is Coming Out Of My Wife's Breasts. What Was Once Essentially An Entertainment Center Has Now Become A Juice Bar.

The Jewel In The Baby Product Crown Is The Stroller. And If In America You Are What You Drive, Then In Parentland, You Are What You Push.

My Wife And I Never Agree On The Dishtowels. It's A Matter Of Terms. She Asks Me Not To Put The Dishtowel In The Sink. So I Drape It Over The Sink, But Not In The Sink. If That's Our Biggest Problem, I Think We're In Good Shape.

Sometimes It Works Out Well, And Certain Household Responsibilities Fall Naturally To Those Who Like Doing Them. For Example, My Wife Likes To Pack Suitcases, I Like To Unpack Them. My Wife Likes To Buy Groceries, I Like To Put Them Away. I Do. I Like The Handling And Discovering, And The Location Assignments. Cans - Over There. Fruit - Over There. Bananas - Not So Fast. You Go Over Here. When You Learn Not To Go Bad So Quickly, Then You Can Stay With The Rest Of Your Friends.

Having A Baby Dragged Me, Kicking And Screaming, From The World Of Self-absorption.