As They Say Around The Texas Legislature,

I Learned Two Things Growing Up In Texas. 1: God Loves You, And You're Going To Burn In Hell Forever. 2: Sex Is The Dirtiest And Most Dangerous Thing You Can Possibly Do, So Save It For Someone You Love.

I Believe In Practicing Prudence At Least Once Every Two Or Three Years.

Texas Is A Fine Place For Men And Dogs, But Hell On Women And Horses.

I Have Been Attacked By Rush Limbaugh On The Air, An Experience Somewhat Akin To Being Gummed By A Newt. It Doesn't Actually Hurt, But It Leaves You With Slimy Stuff On Your Ankle.

The Founders Were Right All Along, But The Results Are A Lot Funnier Than They Intended.