As A Comic, I've Heard Gunshots While

Yeah, I've Done Jim Breuer's Radio Show A Couple Times, And I Heard From Larry The Cable Guy When I Got 'mike & Molly,' Wishing Me Congratulations. I'm Always The Last One To The Party, Man. But That's Okay. I Got There.

Look, You Know, You Can't Please Everybody. I'm A Stand-up Comic. I Know That. It Doesn't Matter How Funny You Are And How Well You Do, There's Two People That Are Going To Walk Out Of There Hating You.

I Like Those Older Theaters - The Acoustics Are Perfect, I Mean, You Just Have That Feel Of There's Been A Thousand Shows In There And Now You Get To Be One.

And Then As I Got Older, See, I Think A Lot Of Times With Comics, Your Life Kind Of Permeates Your Act. Whatever Is Happening In Your Life Is What's Going On On Stage. So If You're Angry In Your Life, Then That's Going To Be On Stage. If You're Looking For The Guy That's Just Going To Make You Laugh For An Hour And Forget About, That's Me.

I Have Been A Big Guy All My Life, I Am Not Going To Lose A Bunch Of Weight, Because Then You're Like That Weird Fat Person That Got Skinny But Still Has A Big Head. I Don't Want To Do That. So I'm Just Trying.