Art Is Supposed To Punch You In

The Worst Thing About Living In This World, In General, Is That Things Get Overwhelming, And Things Cause A Tremendous Amount Of Despair And Anxiety.

Some Of You May Be Perfectly Happy With Mediocrity. Some Of You Will Get Nothing But Heartbreak. Some Of You Will Be Heralded As Geniuses And Become Huge. Of Course, All Of You Think That One Describes You...hence The Delusion Necessary To Push On.

They Are Not Testing Comics For Drugs. If Our Job Is Dependent On That, There Would Be Three Working Comics In The Country, And Two Of Them Would Have Puppets.

The Truth Is, I Can’t Read Anything With Any Distance. Every Book Is A Self-help Book To Me. Just Having Them Makes Me Feel Better.

I've Had This Look For About A Year. I Usually Grow This Beard Out Around Christmas. I Like To Go To Malls Dressed As Jesus, And I Like To Then Walk Around The Mall And Go, 'no! No! This Wasn't What It Was Supposed To Be About, People!' Then If There's A Santa At The Mall, I Walk Up To Him And Say, 'listen, Fat Man, You're Just A Clown At My Birthday Party.'