Anybody Can Have A Life. Careers Are

The Pennsylvania Game Commission Has Charged A Man With Going Deer Hunting With A Handgun In A Wal-mart Parking Lot. He Is Being Charged With Reckless Endangerment, But May Plead Guilty To The Lesser Charge Of Being A Redneck.... Hunting In A Wal-mart Parking Lot. That's Got To Be Some Good Eating — A Deer That Lives On Leftover Twizzlers And Mountain Dew.

In A Groundbreaking Move, The Associated Press, The Largest News-gathering Organization In The World, Will No Longer Use The Term 'illegal Immigrant'. They Will Now Use The Phrase 'undocumented Democrat'.

The White House Approved An Exemption In Obamacare Coverage For Congress And Members Of Their Staff. Members Complained That The Affordable Care Act Will Cost Them Thousands Extra A Year In Premiums. Wait A Minute. It's Their Bill. If It's Too Expensive, Why Did They Name It The Affordable Care Act?

Arnold Schwarzenegger Has Still Not Officially Bowed Out Of This Race. It Looks Like He's Not Gonna Run. But I'll Tell Ya, If Arnold Does Run, He Better Get On The Ballot, Because You Don't Want A Write-in With A Name Like Arnold Schwarzenegger. Because People Will Go - 'schwarz, Schwarz, Oh Davis Is Easier.'

Now, I Have A Halloween Mask I Think You Might Get A Kick Out Of. That's Scary.