And I Don't Like To Work. I

When I Was A Little Kid Playing Baseball, My Manager Called Me Sleepy. And Only A Few People, Who Know Me From Way, Way Back, Call Me That Still. I Used To Drift Off And That's Why They Made Me The Catcher, So I Wouldn't Fall Asleep. That Gift I Have Still.

You Want My Dark Side? Have I Ever Stolen Anything? Not So Much Intentionally. But I Don't Think It's So Much Stealing As... Being A Part Of The Flow Of The Universe. You Know, Where There's An Exchange. It's Positive. It's Negative. There's An Exchange Of Goods And Services.

I Was In The Virgin Islands Once. I Met A Girl. We Ate Lobster, Drank Piña Coladas. At Sunset, We Made Love Like Sea Otters. That Was A Pretty Good Day. Why Couldn't I Get That Day Over And Over And Over?

Awards Are Meaningless To Me, And I Have Nothing But Disdain For Anyone Who Actively Campaigns To Get One.

I Was At The New York Film Critics Circle Awards One Year - They Called Me Up When Somebody Canceled Two Days Before The Thing, And Asked Me To Present Some Awards. So I Went, And One Of The Funniest Film Moments I've Ever Had Was When They Introduced The New York Film Critics. They All Stood Up - Motley Isn't The Word For That Group. Everybody Had Some Sort Of Vision Problem, Some Sort Of Damage - I Had To Bury Myself In My Napkin.