An Escalator Can Never Break: It Can

People Think I'm Into Sports Because I'm A Man. But I'm Not Into Sports. I Like Gatorade, But That's About As Far As It Goes. By The Way, You Don't Have To Be Sweaty And Play Basketball To Enjoy Gatorade. You Can Just Be A Thirsty Dude. Gatorade Forgets About This Demographic!

I Can Read Minds, But I'm Illiterate.

A Dog Came To My Door, So I Gave Him A Bone, The Dog Took The Bone Into The Back Yard And Buried It. I'm Going To Go Plant A Tree There, With Bones On It, Then The Dog Will Come Back And Say, "shoot! It Worked! I Must Distribute These Bones Equally For I Have A Green Paw!"

I Can't Wait To Get Off The Stage, Because I've Got Some Lifesavers In My Pocket And Pineapple Is Next!

I Used To Do Drugs. I Still Do Drugs. But I Used To, Too.