Among The Most Valuable But Least Appreciated

The Goal In Raising One's Child Is To Enable Him, First, To Discover Who He Wants To Be, And Then To Become A Person Who Can Be Satisfied With Himself And His Way Of Life. Eventually He Ought To Be Able To Do In His Life Whatever Seems Important, Desirable, And Worthwhile To Him To Do; To Develop Relations With Other People That Are Constructive, Satisfying, Mutually Enriching; And To Bear Up Well Under The Stresses And Hardships He Will Unavoidably Encounter During His Life.

The Parent Must Not Give In To His Desire To Try To Create The Child He Would Like To Have, But Rather Help The Child To Develop--in His Own Good Time--to The Fullest, Into What He Wishes To Be And Can Be, In Line With His Natural Endowment And As The Consequence Of His Unique Life In History.

The Delight We Experience When We Allow Ourselves To Respond To A Fairy Tale, The Enchantment We Feel, Comes Not From The Psychological Meaning Of The Tale (although This Contributes To It) But From Its Literary Qualities-the Tale Itself As A Work Of Art.

As Anna Freud Remarked, The Toddler Who Wanders Off Into Some Other Aisle, Feels Lost, And Screams Anxiously For His Mother Neversays "i Got Lost," But Accusingly Says "you Lost Me!" It Is A Rare Mother Who Agrees That She Lost Him! She Expects Her Child To Stay With Her; In Her Experience It Is The Child Who Has Lost Track Of The Mother, While In The Child's Experience It Is The Mother Who Has Lost Track Of Him. Each View Is Entirely Correct From The Perspective Of The Individual Who Holds It .

To Be Told That Our Child's Behavior Is "normal" Offers Little Solace When Our Feelings Are Badly Hurt, Or When We Worry That Hisactions Are Harmful At The Moment Or May Be Injurious To His Future. It Does Not Help Me As A Parent Nor Lessen My Worries When My Child Drives Carelessly, Even Dangerously, If I Am Told That This Is "normal" Behavior For Children Of His Age. I'd Much Prefer Him To Deviate From The Norm And Be A Cautious Driver!