All These Jokes Have Been Pre-approved As

I've Always Wanted To Have A Suitcase Handcuffed To My Wrist. That's Not A Full Joke There! It's Filler.

Wearing A Turtleneck Is Like Being Strangled By A Really Weak Guy, All Day. Wearing A Backpack And A Turtleneck Is Like A Weak Midget Trying To Bring You Down.

People Teach Their Dogs To Sit; It's A Trick. I've Been Sitting My Whole Life, And A Dog Has Never Looked At Me As Though He Thought I Was Tricky.

I Had A Stick Of Carefree Gum, But It Didn't Work. I Felt Pretty Good While I Was Blowing That Bubble, But As Soon As The Gum Lost Its Flavor, I Was Back To Pondering My Mortality.

You Should Never Tell Someone They Have A Nice Dimple, Because Maybe They Were Shot In The Face With A Bb Gun.