All The Candy Corn That Was Ever

The Worst Thing About Halloween Is, Of Course, Candy Corn. It's Unbelievable To Me. Candy Corn Is The Only Candy In The History Of America That's Never Been Advertised. And There's A Reason. All Of The Candy Corn That Was Ever Made Was Made In 1911. And So, Since Nobody Eats That Stuff, Every Year There's A Ton Of It Left Over.

When I Was A Kid, You Ate, And You Drank, And You Passed Out And Nobody Woke You Up And Said, 'let's Go Shopping.

Basically I Wake Up In The Morning And I Think Everything's Going To Be Great. I'm Really Kind Of Optimistic, And I Look Forward To A New Day. I Pick Up 'the New York Times,' And I Look At The Front Page And Realize That Once Again I'm Wrong. I Start To Fixate On Stuff.

Who Knew That The Devil Had A Factory Where He Made Millions Of Fossils, Which His Minions Distributed Throughout The Earth, In Order To Confuse My Tiny Brain?

Most Of The Longer-term Relationships I've Known Have Been Gay Relationships. They Seem To Be Able To Hang Out Longer.