All British People Have Plain Names, And

Never Drink Diet Soda. It Shows You Have No Nerve. Only Drink Real Colas, Caffeine-packed Energy Drinks, Or Vitamin Water. Hate Champagne Because That’s What Everyone Expects You To Love. Energy Drinks Are The Best Party Drinks. You Never Get Tired, You Never Get A Hangover, And You Can Make Fun Of All The Loaded People Who Think They’re Clever But Are Really Acting Stupid.

People Just - They Don't Really Know Me. They See Me On "the Simple Life," They Think That's Really Who I Am.

I Can't Stand Black Guys. I Would Never Touch One. It's Gross.

My Favorite Toast Is Rye Toast.

Whatever I Write In Email, It Doesn't Mean Anything. It Is Just Words I Write.