According To Government Auditors, The Stimulus Money

Well, President-elect Barack Obama And His Family Are Gonna Spend The Holidays In His Home State Of Hawaii. And You Know Who Couldn't Be More Thrilled With This? The Press, The Reporters Who Follow The President. Well, Think About It. After Eight Years Of Spending Every Holiday Cutting Brush In Crawford, Texas, They Get To Go To Hawaii!

So, Wesley Clark Is Running For President. Pretty Amazing Guy. Four Star General, First In His Class At West Point, Supreme Commander Of Nato, Saw Combat In Vietnam, Won The Bronze Star, Silver Star, The Purple Heart For Being Wounded In Battle. See, I'm No Political Expert, But That Sounds Pretty Good Next To Choking On A Pretzel, Falling Off A Scooter And Dropping The Dog.

It's Casual Friday, Which Means That At The White House, They're Casually Going Through Everybody's Phone Calls And Records.

General Colin Powell Shocked A Lot Of People In Washington By Speaking Out Against President Bush's Policies, Saying That The World Is Beginning To Doubt The Moral Basis Of Our Fight Against Terrorism. That's What I Think He Said - It Was Hard To Hear Him Because He Was Being Hustled Out Of The Room To His Cell In Guantanamo Bay.

More Warnings Issued By All Branches Of The Government Today That Another Terrorist Attack Is Imminent. We're Not Sure When, We're Not Sure Where, Just That It Is Coming. Who Is Attacking Us Now, The Cable Company?