A Two-year-old Is Kind Of Like Having

There Are More Social Skills Required To Talk One-on-one [than To An Audience]. You Don't Have To Be Socially Fluid To Talk To Two Thousand People.

Cry When You Get A Golden Globe. Then You Can Get An Oscar Nomination.

You Know Why Fish Are So Thin? They Eat Fish.

Wise Is What You Want To Be. Smart Is Easy Compared To Wise.

Cremation Has Become The Most Popular Form Of Burial In The United States... People Used To Want A Big, Thick Granite Stone, Their Names Carved Into With A Chisel. I Was Here Dammit! Cremation Is Like You're Trying To Cover Up A Crime. Burn The Body. Scatter The Ashes Around. As Far As Anyone's Concerned This Whole Thing Never Happened.