A Toast To The Weapons Of War,

I Love To Watch Those Old Movies On Late-night Television, Particularly When A Couple Get Up From A Champagne Dinner In A Posh Restaurant And The Hero Hands The Waiter $3. But The Best Part Is When He Says, "keep The Change."

What Bothers Me About Tv Is That It Tends To Take Our Minds Off Our Minds.

Here's To All Volunteers, Those Dedicated People Who Believe In All Work And No Pay.

It's An Awful Thing To Grow Old By Yourself. My Wife Hasn't Had A Birthday In Seven Years.

Don't Smoke Too Much, Drink Too Much, Eat Too Much Or Work Too Much. We're All On The Road To The Grave - But There's No Need To Be In The Passing Lane.