A Survey Asked Married Women When They

A Number Of Plastic Surgeons Are Claiming That Looking At John Kerry Now, As Opposed To A Few Months Ago, They Believe He's Had Botox Shots. They Claim A Number Of His Worry Lines Have Vanished. They Haven't Vanished, Just Howard Dean Is Wearing Them Now.

President Bush Released His Tax Returns Yesterday. He Listed The Economy As A Liability. He Gets To Write That Off.

Rick Perry Unveiled His New Tax Plan. He Says He Wants A Flat Tax. He Believes That Tax Should Be Flat, Just Like The Earth.

Happiness Is A Privilege.

The Economy Is So Bad That Bedbugs Are Now Infesting Sleeping Bags And Tents, Because They Can't Afford To Stay In Hotels Anymore.