A Real Man Is Happy And Eager

The Only Way Woman Can Truly Be Completely Satisfied Is To Get Herself Four Different Men--an Old One, An Ugly One, A Mandingo, And A Gay Guy.

Being On A Comedy Tour Is Like Traveling With Family, Everyone Is All Having A Great Time... Then All Of A Sudden It Turns Sour. One Thing Gets Said Out Of Turn, And Everyone Is On Everyone's Last Nerve. After An Hour Of Silence, We All Start Laughing About It.

You Can Take Lessons To Become Almost Anything: Flying Lessons, Piano Lessons, Skydiving Lessons, Acting Lessons, Race Car Driving Lessons, Singing Lessons. But There's No Class For Comedy. You Have To Be Born With It. God Has To Give You This Gift.

The Truth Is I've Always Been A Christian. What's Amazing, Is That The Flaws That Come With Christianity Are Really Weird, Because Mine Have A Microphone And A Camera Attached To Them. Most People Don't Have To Live Under That Microscope.

I Don't Have 'the Jerry Springer Show'. I Just Got 'family Feud', But Some Of Them Families, When They Lose, Man, They Have Some Real Conversations With Each Other Back Behind That Wall, But I've Never Been Involved In Any Of Them.