A Man Is Only As Faithful As

When You Have Kids, There's No Such Thing As Quality Time. There's Just Time. There's No, 'ooh, His Graduation's Better Than Going To The Mall.' It's All Kind Of Equal. Changing Her Diaper And Her Winning A Contest - It's All Good.

Standup Comedians Are Attracted To One Another Because Of Their Faults. So We're All Kind Of Messed Up In The Same Way, And Once I Was Around A Group Of People That Saw The World In A Different Way, It's Like This Is Where I Need To Be.

I Hate Niggas! I Hate Em! I Wish They'd Let Me Join The Ku Klux Klan!

You Don't Pay Taxes - They Take Taxes.

Emotional Affairs, Those Are The Only Real Affairs; Those Are The Real Ones.