A Man In Georgia Was Arrested For

The Senate Came One Vote Short Of Granting Approval To Build The Keystone Pipeline. Democrats Say The Pipeline Could Accelerate Global Warming. Then People Who've Been Outside Today Said, 'sounds Good To Me. Let's Accelerate That Global Warming.'

I Wanted To Be The Next Dana Carvey. This Was My Ultimate Goal. If I Ever Cut Into A Birthday Cake And Made A Wish, I Would Wish To Be On 'saturday Night Live.' If I Threw A Coin Into A Fountain, I Would Wish To Be On 'saturday Night Live.' If I Saw A Shooting Star, I Would Wish To Be On 'saturday Night Live.'

Politics Is Pop. Our Job As Comedians - Especially Me, As A Late-night Talk Show, Which Is A Broader Audience - Is To Amplify What We Think America Is Thinking.

Joe Biden Went To Brazil In An Effort To Try And Repair America's Relationship With Their Government. Biden Said, 'it's Great To Be Here In The Amazon. I've Always Wanted To See Where All The Books Come From.'

As Gas Prices Continue To Drop, 28 States Are Now Selling Regular Gasoline For Less Than $2 A Gallon. It's Getting Cheaper To Pump Two Gallons Of Gas Outside The Station Than It Is To Pump Two Squirts Of Nacho Cheese Inside.