A "good" Family, It Seems, Is One

Every Damn President Since I Can Remember Has Been So In Love With Foreign Policy That They're Just Like A Schoolboy With A New Girl.

I've Always Had A Sneaking Fondness For Martin Van Buren. He Wrote His Autobiography, You Know, And Never Once Mentioned His Wife. Now That's What I Call A Mans Man.

Opera Is Like A Husband With A Foreign Title: Expensive To Support, Hard To Understand, And Therefore A Supreme Social Challenge.

Unlike Some People Who Have Experienced The Loss Of An Animal, I Did Not Believe, Even For A Moment, That I Would Never Get Another. I Did Know Full Well That There Were Just Too Many Animals Out There In Need Of Homes For Me To Take What I Have Always Regarded As The Self-indulgent Road Of Saying The Heartbreak Of The Loss Of An Animal Was Too Much Ever To Want To Go Through With It Again. To Me, Such An Admission Brought Up The Far More Powerful Admission That All The Wonderful Times You Had With Your Animal Were Not Worth The Unhappiness At The End.

I Can't Take A Well-tanned Person Seriously.