A Christmas Tree--the Perfect Gift For A

A Man In Florida Has Been Arrested For Wearing A President Obama Mask While Robbing A Mcdonald's. To Show You How Good This Guy's Disguise Was, Instead Of A Holdup Note He Was Reading From A Teleprompter.

Did You Know That 10% Of All Americans Have Not Had Sex In 5 Years? I Didn't Know There Were So Many Republicans.

John Kerry Says That He Wants To Debate President Bush Once A Month Until The Election. This Could Be A Risky Move For Senator Kerry. If Bush Doesn't Show Up For The Debates, John Kerry May End Up Debating An Empty Chair. And That Could Be Pretty Much A Toss Up As To Which One Has The Better Personality.

Riding A Ducati Is Like Having Sex With An Aerobics Instructor - You Know, I'm Exhausted And Panting And It's Going: 'are You Done, Already?'

A Christmas Tree--the Perfect Gift For A Guy. The Plant Is Already Dead.